If you expect something, that very expectation will become the barrier. So live a life without any expectations. Your expectations are your demands on life and a demanding mind always becomes miserable.
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Bliss is where demand is not, because only in a non-demanding state can you relax and receive it. So this is not a problem which is personal to you; this happens to many people.
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Naturally, you come with great expectation - that this is going to happen, that is going to happen...
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You have many fantasies in the mind. Because of those fantasies you cannot relax; you are always waiting for the result. The journey is no more important; the goal has become important.
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If the goal is not arising you become miserable. And the more miserable you become, the farther away the goal goes on receding. It's a vicious circle.
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So next time you come, come without any expectations. We cannot demand anything of life; it has no obligation to fulfill our demands. That whole pattern has to be broken, so in a way it has been good that you have been shocked.
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Now you can learn something beautiful out of it - to never again expect.
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Expectation is out of misery, and naturally when a thing arises out of misery it will create misery.
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